Ego Vehicle

Drawing by Saul Steinberg


Ego Vehicle

You're only half-fake
And the other half
Is more than I can take
When you speak
It's like
Fuzz cascading down
I'd like to put you on
A porcupine
And run you out of town
You walk
As if a bus
Just hit you broadside
You live so far
Out in the toolies
You'll never have to hide.
It's very hard
To make you make sense
You act as if you
Were born on a picket fence.
And even if it seems
Inconsequential
If I'm not mistaken
You are the essential
Ego vehicle.

When your full moon
Turns into a swan
And bursts into girdles
Resplendent in the dawn
When your ace-in-the-hole
Races like a rat
And your Madonna-in-blue
Starts to get fat
Brace yourself because
The curtain's coming down
And when the confusion passes
There will be no sound
Don't carress your nervousness
It won't pay you back
Twice in every lifetime
Or once on every track.
Apes don't act like humans
Martians don't exist
When it all boils down
It's really just a trick
All your fancy cars
And escapades in light
Won't hold a candle
To eons of fright
So build your mausoleums
But don't forget the girl
Who gave you barnacles
When you gave her the world.
And even if it seems
Inconsequential
If I'm not mistaken
You are the essential
Ego vehicle. (1977)

This song is, of course, just nonsense, but it stuck in my head over the years. It was actually written in reference to a pseudo-prophet I once knew who had bilked many people. That accounts for some of the anger in the song.