Momma T's Struggle

A recent article on the new book on Mother Teresa says:

The depth of her doubts could be viewed by nonbelievers and skeptics as more evidence of the emptiness of religious belief. But Roman Catholic scholars and supporters of the woman who toiled in Calcutta's slums and called herself 'a pencil in God's hand' argue that her struggles make her more accessible and her work all the more remarkable.

"It shows that she wasn't a plaster-of-Paris saint who never had a doubt about God or the ultimate meaning of life," said the Rev. Richard McBrien, a University of Notre Dame theology professor and author of "Lives of the Saints." "This can only enhance her reputation as a saintly person with people who aren't easily impressed with pious stories. Those who think otherwise have a lot of learning to do about the complexities of life and about the nature of faith."

The struggle of faith is sometimes called "The Dark Night of the Soul", this from wikipedia:

The term and metaphysicality of the phrase "dark night of the soul" are taken from the writings of the Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross, a Carmelite priest in the 16th century. Dark Night of the Soul is the name of both a poem, and a commentary on that poem, and are among the Carmelite priest's most famous writings. They tell of his mystic development and the stages he went through on his quest for holiness.

The "dark night" could generally be described as a letting go of our ego's hold on the psyche, making room for change that can bring about a complete transformation of a person's way of defining his/her self and their relationship to God. The interim period can be frightening, hence the perceived "darkness".

Rather than being a negative event, the dark night is believed by mystics and others to be a blessing in disguise where the individual extends from a state of contemplative prayer to an inability to pray. Particularly in Christianity, it is seen as a severe test of one's faith.

Mother Teresa makes it hard for someone to be anti-Catholic (which I'm not). Perhaps more than any other single Christian in the 20th Century, she demonstrated a life sold out to God and to her particular gift of mercy. Hers was a tough row to hoe, even if she did sometimes garner legitimate criticisms.

This revelation about her journey through doubt is actually a testament of faith. Some of the most daring and risk-taking missionaries faced these things. Depression and doubt are not necessarily demonic. Often depression is more like a physical ailment. But just like men fighting in real-world combat, those who engage in spiritual combat face shell-shock and post-war trauma.

The journey into darkness is often where one finds God hiding.

Psalm 97: 2 Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

This speaks of the mystery of God. He dwells in the thick darkness.
And sometimes, maybe even often, it is in our darkest passages that we find Him more poignantly.

How odd, that faith would spring from the very dark soil of doubt.

But where else is your faith more tested?

We hear teachers speak of "demonstrating faith" or "doing miracles" as the great proof of faith. But what greater demonstration than Job in the pits of despair who cried, "Though skinworms devour my flesh, yet will I praise Him."

Clinical depression is another matter, but the dark night of the soul turns out to be an opportunity. One emerges more blessed than ever before.

A long journey through darkness, as with Mother Teresa, may the more identify her undying hope, love, and faith.